Supporting Children Through Stressful and Traumatic Events: A Neuroscience-Responsive Approach

When children experience high stress or go through a challenging event, their nervous systems instinctively seek safety through connection. Neuroscience, particularly Polyvagal Theory, teaches us that children regulate not through perfect words, but through the steady, settled presence of the adults around them. A caregiver’s ability to offer connection, regulation and predictability can shape how a child processes and recovers from difficult experiences.

During these times, small, intentional actions can have a profound impact. By prioritizing connection, movement, and supportive rhythms, we can help create a sense of safety and stability for children. This guide offers simple, neuroscience-backed strategies to help buffer stress—ensuring that both children and caregivers have the tools they need to navigate challenging moments with resilience and care.

CONNECT
Parents often feel pressure to say the “right” thing in response to a child's distress, but research shows that what children need most is a regulated, present adult to help them feel safe. Prioritize quality time together in activities your child enjoys—whether it’s taking a walk, baking, or playing a game. Shared moments of connection signal safety and help restore a child’s sense of security.

MOVE
Movement plays a key role in regulating the nervous system. Physical activity helps release built-up stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol while increasing endorphins—our body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Encourage activities that feel supportive, such as rhythmic movement (walking, running, ball games, dancing), breathwork, or yoga. Time in nature, when accessible and safe, can be particularly grounding. If your child wants to talk, consider ‘walking and talking,’ as bilateral movement can support cognitive processing.

LISTEN
Creating space for children to express their feelings—through words, drawing, or play—can help them make sense of their experience. Let them know you’re listening, not to fix or explain, but to witness and validate their emotions. By being present and receptive, you help them feel seen, heard, and supported.

MAKE A PLAN
Predictability is soothing to the nervous system. Work with your child to create a simple daily rhythm that provides structure while allowing for flexibility. Make sleep a priority—rest is essential for the brain to process emotions, store memories, and restore balance.

FEED THEM WELL
Stress can take a toll on the body, making it even more important to nourish with nutrient-dense meals and hydration. Offer familiar, comforting foods alongside options that support immune function and energy levels.

LIMIT SOCIAL MEDIA
For older children and teens, constant exposure to distressing news or revisiting a traumatic event online can amplify feelings of stress and dysregulation. Help them find balance by encouraging intentional breaks from screens and prioritizing in-person connection and activities that support well-being.

CREATE SAFETY
Soothing and regulating activities can help shift the nervous system out of a heightened stress response. Encourage reading, drawing, listening to music, spending time in nature, or taking a warm bath. Rhythmic activities—such as playing catch, rocking in a chair, bouncing a ball, or going for a walk—can be especially regulating for the nervous system. Older children and teens may also benefit from being around supportive friends. These small, predictable experiences help reinforce a felt sense of safety.

PARENT AND CAREGIVER SELF-CARE
​Supporting a child through stress can be challenging, and your own regulation matters too. Prioritizing your well-being—through rest, connection, movement, or mindful moments—helps ensure that your nervous system provides the steady, reassuring presence your child needs. You don’t have to do it perfectly—trust your intention and intuition to guide you.

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Author, Jen Rapanos, LMSW, RCYT

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