 I grew up rarely seeing adults cry, and somewhere along the way, I developed an association between crying and something being wrong. Tears felt alarming, big, concerning. If someone cried, it meant something bad had happened. Even now, I can still feel traces of that conditioning in my body. Today, in a yoga class, I felt grief suddenly begin to rise inside of me. It wasn’t something on my mind. It wasn’t attached to one specific thought or story. It simply emerged. My first instinct was immediate, not here, not now. I could feel the vulnerability of it. The awareness of other people nearby. The thoughts that quickly rushed in said, What will people think? This isn’t the time or place. But instead of pushing it away, I moved into child’s pose and stayed there. I let myself notice what was happening without needing to fix it or fully understand it. I named it quietly to myself, This feels like grief, and I let the tears flow… I stayed in child’s pose for the rest of class, letting my body do what it seemed to need to do, release, soften, move something through, and I reassured myself, This is a human response, tears are an expression, grief is part of being human. By the end of class, I joined in shavasana. Resting, I felt lighter, softer and more spacious. Crying Is One of Our First Forms of Communication We come into the world crying. Babies cry to communicate needs, seek connection, express discomfort, release overwhelm, and call for support. Tears are woven into our nervous systems from the very beginning. Yet through conditioning, many of us learn that crying is something to suppress, hide, apologize for, or stop as quickly as possible. “Don’t cry.” “You’re okay.” “Stop being dramatic.” “You’re so emotional.” Often, these responses are not intentionally harmful. Many adults are simply responding from their own discomfort or conditioning around emotion and vulnerability. But what happens when we repeatedly interrupt a natural human process? Crying is not a weakness, and it’s not necessarily a sign that something is wrong. Sometimes tears are sadness, fear, frustration, relief, joy, awe, tenderness, or grief. Sometimes tears emerge simply because our bodies have been holding too much for too long. Tears Are Part of Release Research suggests emotional tears may help regulate stress and support emotional processing. Many people notice a sense of relief, grounding, or settling after crying. Crying can be understood as part of the body’s natural rhythm of expression and release. Like a pressure valve. Like movement after tension. Like exhaling after holding the breath too long. And while not every cry leads to immediate calm or clarity, tears themselves are not the problem. Often, they are just part of a process. Reflecting on Our Own Relationship With Crying Before we can fully support children when tears arise, it helps to explore our own relationship with crying first. Many of us were not taught how to stay present with emotion or tears, either our own or someone else’s. Sometimes simply becoming aware of these patterns changes the way we respond. Some reflection questions:
Helping Children Build a Healthy Relationship With Tears Children learn about emotions not just from what we say, but from how we respond. When we rush to stop tears immediately, children can begin to internalize the message that crying is unsafe, inconvenient, embarrassing, or too much for others. But when we stay present, calm, and accepting, children begin to learn: My feelings are allowed. My body instinctively knows what to do. I can move through emotions and come out the other side. This doesn’t mean we intensify emotion or leave children drowning in overwhelm. It simply means we stop treating tears like an emergency. Instead of:
We might try:
Sometimes children want closeness. Sometimes space. Sometimes movement. Sometimes words. Sometimes they simply need permission to cry without being fixed. Tears Are Part of Being Human When children learn that tears are natural, normal, and part of being human, they learn that they can cry and still be okay. That they can feel deeply and move forward. That emotions can move through them. They learn that their feelings don't make them weak. They make them human. Many of us grew up learning to suppress, minimize, or push through our tears. Raising emotionally healthy children often requires us to relearn how to honor our own emotions as well. Author, Jen Rapanos, LMSW, RCYT © All Rights Reserved. 2026. Well-Bean, PLLC  Every emotion carries information, a signal from your body about what matters, what feels safe or unsafe, and what might need care or attention. When an emotion shows up, especially a big or uncomfortable one, it can help to pause and reflect once it has passed or settled enough for your thinking brain to join the conversation. That’s when you can begin exploring the message underneath the emotion. And don’t forget to notice the pleasant emotions, too. Those moments of calm, joy, or connection remind you what helps your body feel safe and supported - the people, places, and experiences that bring balance and ease. Sometimes it’s hard to figure out what a feeling is trying to say on your own, and that’s okay. You can ask for help from someone you trust to explore it together. You might wonder:
Here are some examples to inspire your curiosity as you begin to notice what your emotions might be telling you. Possible Messages from My Emotions
From there, you can more clearly recognize what helps - the movement, rest, support, or connection your body and heart might need to come back into balance. Author, Jen Rapanos, LMSW, RCYT © All Rights Reserved. Well-Bean, PLLC  If you’re familiar with Polyvagal Theory, you may have heard the term glimmers, a word coined by Deb Dana. Glimmers are those small, everyday moments when our nervous system registers safety and connection. They’re like tiny sparks that remind us: this feels good, I’m okay here. Deb Dana describes glimmers as micro-moments of regulation, brief experiences that foster safety and well-being. They aren’t about “thinking positive” or forcing silver linings. Instead, glimmers are invitations into connection with our body’s natural sense of safety. When we notice them and let our body feel them, we strengthen nervous system flexibility, build resilience, and widen our window of tolerance. In a state of safety, our brains are more able to take in beauty, connection, and joy. And here’s the science piece: what fires together, wires together. When we not only notice glimmers but pause to sense them in our bodies, we give our nervous system practice at settling into regulation. Over time, this reshapes how we see the world, helping us move through life with a steadier sense of openness and awe. A glimmer might feel like:
This is where awareness matters. Noticing a glimmer isn’t just about recognizing something good happened — it’s about feeling it in your body. By pausing for even a few seconds and sensing how it lands — maybe warmth in your chest, a softening in your shoulders, or a quieting in your mind — you help your nervous system really register the experience. That embodiment piece is what makes the glimmer “stick” and strengthens resilience over time. And here’s why this matters even more: some of us — and many kids — have nervous systems that are more easily overwhelmed by the world, whether from trauma, stress, or sensory sensitivity. Their inner radar is primed to scan for danger, and safety cues can get overlooked. Glimmer-spotting gives us (and them) a way to practice orienting toward safety. It’s a reminder that the world isn’t only overwhelming; it also holds small, steadying moments of safety, joy, and connection. And here’s the beauty: once you’ve experienced a glimmer, you can recall it later. Your nervous system doesn’t need the moment to be happening right now to benefit. Just remembering how it felt can bring back a sense of ease or aliveness. This is how glimmers grow into what Deb Dana calls glows, the lingering warmth that comes when we take time to savor a glimmer. Glow is like the aftertaste of safety, a gentle imprint that reminds us the world isn’t only overwhelming, it holds safe and nourishing things too. Keeping a glimmer list or journal can help. Over time, you’ll notice patterns: people, places, sounds, movements, or small joys that reliably help you feel well. Sharing glimmers is powerful, too. Imagine if kids grew up not only noticing what they like, but also connecting those moments with how they feel in their bodies. A glimmer for a child might be:
So may we keep our eyes open for glimmers, the little everyday sparks of safety, joy, and connection. And may we let them glow, guiding us back to what feels alive and well. Author, Jen Rapanos, LMSW, RCYT © All Rights Reserved. Well-Bean, PLLC  When it comes to raising teens, one of the most common habits we fall into as parents is giving advice. We do it because we care. Because we’ve lived longer, seen more, and want to spare our kids unnecessary pain. Because we want to fix what’s hard, or help them make the “right” choice. But in our well-meaning efforts to guide, we often miss what our kids are truly asking for: to be seen and heard. Over and over in therapy sessions, I hear teens say, “My parents just don’t listen.” What they usually mean is: – They feel shut down. – They feel talked over. – They feel like there’s an agenda. – Or they’re met with lectures instead of space. What the research and lived experience continually show is that young people need a safe place to land. They need space to process their own thoughts and feelings, and a regulated adult who can be present without rushing in to fix or reframe. When we give them that, we’re not doing “nothing” we’re actually helping them build essential life skills:
In short, listening is guidance. And it’s one of the most powerful tools we have. How to Practice Listening with Your Teen (believe me, this takes lots of practice!). Here are a few ways to strengthen your listening muscle:
I recently came across a post from Dr. Becky Campbell that offered language and simple scripts designed to build a child’s confidence. These phrases pair beautifully with the practice of listening and validating feelings. Imagine being met with one of these messages, by someone who loves you, right when you need it most. “I believe you.” “It makes sense you feel that way, I’m here.” “It’s okay to take your time, I’m here when you’re ready.” “You’re allowed to feel exactly as you do.” “You’re the only one in your body, so you’re the only one who knows how you feel.” Listening isn’t passive. It’s an active, compassionate choice to hold space for someone else’s experience. For our kids—especially as they navigate the complexities of adolescence—it can be what keeps them relationally connected to us. And the more we practice it, the more they trust us with what matters. Author, Jen Rapanos, LMSW, RCYT © All Rights Reserved. Well-Bean, PLLC
 Photo credit: Real kid. Real chores. Real family rhythm. Thanks to our friends at Dynamic Essence Chiropractic Center. When I talk with parents about chores, I often hear a mix of responses. Some say it’s just not part of their routine, others have tried but met resistance, and many admit it’s simply easier to do things themselves. Some worry their kids are already juggling so much that adding more feels unfair. All of that makes sense. And yet, beneath the surface of these everyday tasks is something much quieter and more meaningful that feels really important to consider. Chores, done with intention, aren’t just about responsibility, they’re about connection. They give kids the chance to feel capable, trusted, and part of something larger than themselves. And the research echoes this truth: when kids are given the chance to contribute regularly at home, they gain skills and qualities that reach far beyond a clean kitchen or folded laundry. They develop a stronger work ethic. They build self-confidence and a sense of purpose. They become more empathetic and collaborative. And they tend to grow into more capable and even happier adults. Why? Because chores help kids feel like they belong. That their contributions matter. When kids engage in shared responsibilities, they begin to see themselves as part of something bigger - a family ecosystem where everyone pitches in. And when kids are recognized for their efforts, even small ones, it builds real self-worth. A study published in the Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics found that children who begin helping with small tasks by the time they’re 4 or 5 have higher levels of self-confidence and self-efficacy. It’s also worth considering the other side of the coin, when we consistently do everything for our kids, what message might that send, whether we mean to or not? It can unintentionally teach them that things simply get done for them. That someone else will always carry the load. Over time, that can shape a more limited view of the world, one where they’re not expected to notice the needs around them or take responsibility for shared spaces. It becomes harder for them to see the bigger picture: that they’re part of a family system, a community, and a world that thrives on reciprocity - on give and take, on showing up for each other. That’s really what we want to nurture, a sense of connection. The understanding that when I pitch in, it helps someone else, and that I’m part of something bigger than just me. Being part of the whole feels good. Because the goal isn’t just clean rooms. It’s raising grounded, compassionate, connected and capable humans. So, where do you start? If chores haven’t been part of your family’s rhythm, it’s never too late to begin. Start small, start together, and start with intention. It helps to begin with a simple conversation: Why now? Why is this important? Frame chores as a way of working together and supporting one another, not as punishment or obligation, but as part of being a family. Let your kids know that this is about shared responsibility, teamwork, and trust. Even better, invite them into the process. Collaborate on a list of tasks that need doing. Ask what they feel confident about or curious to try. When kids are involved in decision-making, they’re more likely to take ownership. A Montessori-Inspired Guide to Chores by Age The Montessori approach emphasizes building independence, confidence, and practical life skills through hands-on experiences. In this philosophy, chores are seen as opportunities to contribute meaningfully, not tasks to be perfected. The goal isn’t perfection—it’s participation. Ages 1–3
Bringing Chores into the Rhythm of Family Life
For some students, it was a steep learning curve. But for those who had spent time in the kitchen back home, it came naturally. That’s the point: experience empowers. Exposure builds confidence. And every moment your child is invited to participate, whether it’s stirring pancake batter, folding towels, or taking out the compost, is a moment that teaches them: You are capable. You are needed. You belong. Chores aren’t just about a cleaner house. They’re about raising kids who feel confident, connected, and ready to contribute to the world! Author, Jen Rapanos, LMSW, RCYT © All Rights Reserved. Well-Bean, PLLC  More and more lately, I’ve been hearing from kids and teens who are struggling with sleep — and feeling a lot of pressure when it doesn’t come easily. Like if they don’t fall asleep the moment their head hits the pillow, something must be wrong. Instead of winding down, they often end up more wound up — worried that they’re not sleeping, and unsure what to do next. That pressure to fall asleep quickly can actually make it even harder. So what if we offered a different way to think about sleep altogether? What if we could help kids build (or discover) a healthier, more compassionate relationship with sleep? Let’s Rethink Sleep One of the most powerful things we can do as parents or caregivers is help kids view sleep not as a test to pass, but as an act of self-care. Sleep isn’t just something we have to do — it’s a way we nurture and restore our minds and bodies. And like many things in life, our relationship with sleep isn’t black and white. It ebbs and flows. Some nights feel easy, others feel tangled. Sleep is less of a switch to flip and more of a rhythm — one that changes based on what we’ve carried through the day, what’s stirring inside us, and what our bodies and minds might need. When we view sleep as a relationship — something we’re constantly learning from and responding to — it opens up space to explore. Maybe a child needs more support in settling, more consistent rhythms, or better ways to release built-up energy. Maybe it’s about discovering new strategies for calming the mind or tuning inward to sense what the body needs. And if your child is older? It’s not too late. We can always reframe and rediscover a new relationship with sleep — one built on care, not control. We can help by offering gentle, grounding messages like:
Setting the Stage for Sleep One of the most helpful ways to support sleep is by slowing things down in the hour before bedtime. This creates a rhythm — a signal to the nervous system that it’s time to shift gears and soften into rest. Some ideas to try:
When Sleep Feels Hard: Try a “Plan B” For older kids, it can be helpful to have a Plan B — concrete options for when sleep just isn’t coming easily. Instead of lying in bed frustrated, they can gently shift to something supportive that helps their body and mind reset. Here are a few Plan B ideas:
Finding a Rhythm and a New Mindset While it might sound simple, consistency can be surprisingly powerful too. Our bodies thrive on rhythm. Going to bed and waking up around the same time each day helps our internal clock settle into a groove, making it easier to fall asleep and wake up feeling more refreshed. It’s not about being strict—it’s about offering your body a rhythm it can count on. Most importantly, this isn’t about perfection, it’s about supporting the nervous system. Routines that feel safe, calming, and predictable help signal to the body that it’s okay to rest. And when we bring in practices like gentle movement, mindfulness, or connection before bed, we’re not just helping with sleep—we’re tending to well-being in a deeper way. At the heart of it all is this, our mindset around sleep matters. When we stop treating sleep as something to force and start viewing it as a time for care and restoration, we help kids feel less stuck and more supported, even on the hard nights. Rest is valuable, even if sleep doesn’t come right away. Everyone has off nights. They don’t mean something is wrong. They’re simply an invitation to slow down, reset, and respond with care. Sleep isn’t a race. It’s a rhythm, one we can learn to honor with patience, creativity, and kindness. Written by: Jen Rapanos, LMSW, RCYT  These are deeply unsettling times. The weight of injustice, uncertainty, and harm can feel unbearable. For some, this fear and exhaustion are new—a sudden awakening to realities that others have long endured. For others, it is a constant, woven into generations of lived experience—a heaviness carried in bodies, in communities, in history. And yet, history reminds us of both the worst and the best of humanity. It is filled with individuals who have endured, with cultures and communities who continue to resist and rebuild in the face of unimaginable hardship. Resilience takes many forms, but one thing is clear: staying well—mentally, emotionally, and physically—is not optional. It is necessary. Not just for today, but for the long haul. As we move through these times, we are not doing so alone. The youth in our lives—our children, students, and the next generation—are watching. They are not just hearing our words; they are absorbing how we respond, how we cope, and how we care for ourselves in the midst of hardship. This moment offers us both an opportunity and a responsibility—to show them what it means to stay well in the face of adversity. Resilience Requires Regulation I’ve heard from educators, parents, and caregivers who feel worn out, unsure of how to make a difference, and overwhelmed by what comes next. That’s why I’m writing this—to remind you that in the work of caregiving and advocacy, your regulation is essential. Children don’t just listen to what we say—they feel us, literally. Their nervous systems are constantly tuning in through a process called neuroception—the body’s automatic, subconscious way of detecting safety or threat. They absorb our energy, stress, and steadiness—or lack thereof. Co-regulation is happening beneath the level of conscious awareness, whether we intend it to or not. Their nervous systems take cues from us about how safe the world is right now. If the adults around them are in a chronic state of fight or flight, their bodies register that message: the world is not safe; I must stay on high alert. Even with the best of intentions, an adult stuck in survival mode doesn’t communicate that even in chaos, we can still find refuge, still work to be well. Instead, their nervous system is primed to fight or flee—and the children around them feel it. That’s not to say we shouldn’t be fighting for justice or for the things that matter. But when we move through the world without conscious awareness, spending more time dysregulated than not, there is an impact—on our own health and on those around us. Our nervous systems were not designed to exist in a constant state of stress activation. The stress response is meant for short bursts, mobilizing us when needed, then resolving and returning to a regulated state. Our ventral vagal system—the branch of the vagus nerve that allows us to connect, rest, digest, and recover—must be intentionally cultivated. It doesn’t just happen; it requires practice. Daily practice. Routine regulation. How We Show Up Matters One of the most meaningful ways to support youth right now is to be a steady, regulated-enough presence—a source of stability in uncertain times. This doesn’t mean ignoring the weight of the world or staying calm. It means ensuring that, amidst it all, we are returning to practices that restore us, keep us grounded, and sustain our capacity to show up—again and again.
This isn't about disengaging, and resilience doesn’t mean pushing through at all costs. It means knowing when to pause, knowing when we need support, and making our own well-being a priority so we can show up with clarity and intention instead of reacting from a place of overwhelm or depletion. It means recognizing when social media is keeping us in a cycle of anxiety rather than action. It means choosing moments of rest, connection, and care—not as a luxury, but as an act of resistance against the forces that would have us burn out. Staying well in times like these is not about avoidance. It’s about making sure we can keep showing up—again and again. For the people in our lives. For those most impacted. For the long fight. The Practices Sustaining Me in These Times These are resources and practices I’ve been integrating into my routine—ways to regulate, recharge, and sustain:
What about you? How are you sustaining yourself right now? “One of the best things each of us can do—not only for ourselves but also for our children and grandchildren—is to metabolize our pain and heal our trauma. When we heal and make more room for growth in our nervous systems, we have a better chance of spreading our emotional health to our descendants, via healthy DNA expression. In contrast, when we don’t address our trauma, we may pass it on to future generations, along with some of our fear, constriction, and dirty pain.” ― Resmaa Menakem My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Mending of Our Bodies and Hearts Author, Jen Rapanos, LMSW, RCYT Supporting Children Through Stressful and Traumatic Events: A Neuroscience-Responsive Approach2/7/2025
 When children experience high stress or go through a challenging event, their nervous systems instinctively seek safety through connection. Neuroscience, particularly Polyvagal Theory, teaches us that children regulate not through perfect words, but through the steady, settled presence of the adults around them. A caregiver’s ability to offer connection, regulation and predictability can shape how a child processes and recovers from difficult experiences. During these times, small, intentional actions can have a profound impact. By prioritizing connection, movement, and supportive rhythms, we can help create a sense of safety and stability for children. This guide offers simple, neuroscience-backed strategies to help buffer stress—ensuring that both children and caregivers have the tools they need to navigate challenging moments with resilience and care. CONNECT Parents often feel pressure to say the “right” thing in response to a child's distress, but research shows that what children need most is a regulated, present adult to help them feel safe. Prioritize quality time together in activities your child enjoys—whether it’s taking a walk, baking, or playing a game. Shared moments of connection signal safety and help restore a child’s sense of security. MOVE Movement plays a key role in regulating the nervous system. Physical activity helps release built-up stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol while increasing endorphins—our body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Encourage activities that feel supportive, such as rhythmic movement (walking, running, ball games, dancing), breathwork, or yoga. Time in nature, when accessible and safe, can be particularly grounding. If your child wants to talk, consider ‘walking and talking,’ as bilateral movement can support cognitive processing. LISTEN Creating space for children to express their feelings—through words, drawing, or play—can help them make sense of their experience. Let them know you’re listening, not to fix or explain, but to witness and validate their emotions. By being present and receptive, you help them feel seen, heard, and supported. MAKE A PLAN Predictability is soothing to the nervous system. Work with your child to create a simple daily rhythm that provides structure while allowing for flexibility. Make sleep a priority—rest is essential for the brain to process emotions, store memories, and restore balance. FEED THEM WELL Stress can take a toll on the body, making it even more important to nourish with nutrient-dense meals and hydration. Offer familiar, comforting foods alongside options that support immune function and energy levels. LIMIT SOCIAL MEDIA For older children and teens, constant exposure to distressing news or revisiting a traumatic event online can amplify feelings of stress and dysregulation. Help them find balance by encouraging intentional breaks from screens and prioritizing in-person connection and activities that support well-being. CREATE SAFETY Soothing and regulating activities can help shift the nervous system out of a heightened stress response. Encourage reading, drawing, listening to music, spending time in nature, or taking a warm bath. Rhythmic activities—such as playing catch, rocking in a chair, bouncing a ball, or going for a walk—can be especially regulating for the nervous system. Older children and teens may also benefit from being around supportive friends. These small, predictable experiences help reinforce a felt sense of safety. PARENT AND CAREGIVER SELF-CARE Supporting a child through stress can be challenging, and your own regulation matters too. Prioritizing your well-being—through rest, connection, movement, or mindful moments—helps ensure that your nervous system provides the steady, reassuring presence your child needs. You don’t have to do it perfectly—trust your intention and intuition to guide you. Author, Jen Rapanos, LMSW, RCYT © All Rights Reserved. Well-Bean, PLLC  Exploring Reactions to Discomfort: Mindfulness with Nature and Water Winter has arrived here in the Midwest, bringing colder temperatures, snow, and plenty of opportunities to explore how we respond to discomfort. The shift in seasons naturally invites us to use nature and its elements as a way to reflect on and manage our reactions to challenging sensations. For the adults reading this, you may have noticed the rising interest in cold water plunging and the work of Wim Hof. Personally, I’ve been experimenting with cold water for the past four years, inspired by the connection between stimulating vagus nerve pathways and reducing the body’s natural stress response. What began as a 30-second cold water rinse at the end of my shower—gritting my teeth and bearing through it—has, over time, transformed into regular cold plunging. Through this practice, I’ve become deeply aware of not just how powerful the mind is, but the breath as well. A single thought like ‘I can’t handle this, it’s too much’ can quickly push me into a state of reaction and overwhelm. By learning to harness my breath during those moments of resistance—and with years now of practice—I’ve noticed powerful shifts. On the days I practice, I feel more grounded and alert, and over time, this repetition has helped me become less reactive and better able to settle my nervous system in daily life. While the cold water practice is shared for adults to consider, the activity below offers parents and kids an opportunity to explore and experiment with their natural reactions to discomfort. It invites older children and teens to use mindfulness and the elements of nature to observe how they respond to challenging sensations. Learning to navigate discomfort is an essential skill for building emotional resilience and supporting overall well-being. Activity: Exploring Reactions to Discomfort; Mindfulness with Nature and Water Intention: This activity invites older children and teens to explore their natural reactions to discomfort using the elements of water, nature, and mindfulness. By observing sensations and practicing mindful breathing, participants can approach discomfort with curiosity and awareness, fostering resilience and enhancing their ability to regulate emotions in challenging situations. Option 1: Awakening with Cold Water Begin indoors by using cold water to explore your response to discomfort.
Option 2: Relating to Cold Weather with Mindfulness On a chilly day, step outside and notice the sensations of cold on your skin.
Reflection After completing the activity, take a moment to reflect on your experience. Use these questions to deepen your understanding:
Practicing mindfulness while observing discomfort helps you become more aware of your reactions to challenging situations. This awareness builds the foundation for managing discomfort in healthy ways, helping you regulate your mind and body while fostering resilience to navigate life’s challenges. Author: Jen Rapanos, LMSW, RCYT © Copyright 2024 Well-Bean, LLC. All rights reserved  Imagine children growing up with the wisdom that they carry a beautiful, steadying resource inside them—a way to help themselves feel grounded and connected, no matter what’s happening around them. Our breath is our source of life and energy, a powerful tool within each of us! The word pranayama comes from the Sanskrit words prana (meaning life force or energy) and ayama (meaning extension or control). It is a yogic practice of regulating the breath, which plays a key role in calming the nervous system and helping us manage our emotional and energetic states. When kids learn pranayama, they discover that they can use their breath as a steady tool to work with their emotions and energy, guiding themselves toward calm and balance. Practicing pranayama with kids can be a fun, deeply connecting experience that helps them feel more centered and in tune with themselves. Teaching children the value of mindful breathing shows them that it’s a powerful resource for self-regulation—one that they can rely on whenever they need it. This encourages children to turn inward and see their breath as a valuable ally, worth getting to know and calling upon regularly. The benefits of practicing together go beyond instruction, creating moments of fun, play, laughter, and connection. Telling a child to "take a deep breath" becomes much more meaningful when it's supported by shared, practiced experiences in calm moments with a trusted grown-up. This way, when they need it most, "take a deep breath with me" becomes a familiar invitation, helping them access their breath with confidence and a sense of connection—both to themselves and to the attuned adult by their side. Here are a few kid-friendly breathwork practices to explore together: Hand Squeeze Breathing Hold hands and, with each inhale, give a gentle squeeze. Release on the exhale. This creates a physical rhythm that matches your breathing and can be done while sitting or lying down. It’s simple but creates a soothing, connected experience that children often enjoy. Try practicing with different rhythms. Legs on a Chair Relaxation Lie down on your backs side by side with chairs nearby. Scoot up to place your legs onto the chairs, knees bent, with heels, calves, and the backs of your knees resting comfortably on the chairs. Settle into this position, allowing your body to relax fully. Place your hands on your bellies and take slow, deep breaths together, noticing how your bellies rise with each inhale and fall with each exhale. This shared relaxation practice is perfect before bedtime or whenever you both need extra calm. With your feet above your heart, you activate the parasympathetic system to encourage relaxation. For added comfort, try using eye pillows for a deeper sense of rest and listening to a piece of music. Rhythm Breathing Sit facing each other on the floor, either in a criss-cross position or with legs open in a wide V shape. If your child is smaller, they can place their legs inside your V-shaped legs. Hold hands securely and gently rock forward and back. As one person leans forward, the other leans back, creating a natural rhythm. Sync your breathing so you both inhale moving one way and exhale moving the other. This rhythmic movement with synchronized breathing fosters connection, safety, and relaxation. For added fun, try matching your rhythm and breath to music. Two of our favorites are Don’t Hold Your Breath by Wookiefoot and Rock Steady by Aretha Franklin for a contrasting vibe. Heart-to-Heart Breathing Sit cross-legged facing each other, with your hands on each other's heart space. Take deep breaths together, feeling each other's chest rise and fall. To help sync up, decide together on a number to count to—maybe 10 or even 20. Inhale and count 1, exhale 2, inhale 3, exhale 4, and so on. This gentle, grounding exercise brings calm and connection, allowing you to tune into each other’s breath and rhythm. Draw Your Breath Start by simply bringing your attention to your breath, taking a few natural cycles of inhales and exhales. Now, imagine your breath as a line that can move and shift into different shapes. As you focus on your breath, visualize the shape this line creates. Follow this pattern for a few more cycles of breath, and then, using a crayon or colored pencil, draw that pattern on paper. You can add to the experience by imagining that you’re feeling nervous or mad. Notice how your breathing changes and picture your breath as that line again. What new pattern does it create? Draw this new pattern. End the practice by intentionally slowing down your breath, taking long, slow, full inhales and exhales. As you settle into this steadier, calmer breathing, imagine your breath as a line once more. Draw a new pattern that represents this breath. Take a moment to observe your drawings. What do they reveal about how you were feeling? Notice the differences between the patterns—how does each one look, and how did it feel to breathe in these ways? Think about how slowing down, controlling, or intentionally focusing on your breathing can help you feel more in control of your feelings from the inside out. Practicing this gives you a way to work with big feelings whenever they show up. Just Breathe Start by finding a comfortable position that allows you to take full, deep breaths. Let your body settle as you take a few moments to simply be with your breath—nowhere to go, nothing to do. Just enjoy your body’s natural ability to breathe. Choose a song, and for a few minutes, focus on breathing slowly and deeply as the music plays, letting the sound wash over you. Pairing this exercise with music can enhance the experience, making it both relaxing and enjoyable, and helping breathwork feel natural and soothing for both of you. We recommend Kindness Mantra by Kira Willey for younger children, or Take A Deep Breath by Slumberkins and Trevor Hall, each emphasizing the calming power of the breath. Author: Jen Rapanos, LMSW, RCYT © Copyright 2024 Well-Bean, LLC. All rights reserved
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