In the book Building Emotional Intelligence, Linda Lantieri references the growing body of research that suggests that when a child is supported in developing pro-social and emotional skills early in life, that there are better outcomes for that child’s long-term health and well-being.  Teaching children how to connect with their inner world supports the development of self-awareness, but it also helps lay the foundation for understanding the interplay between themselves and others.  Every child is born with the capacity to be empathetic, but empathy is a skill that requires nurturing in order to develop.   
 
As an adult in a child’s life, you can help foster the development of empathy by supporting them in building emotional awareness and familiarizing them with the thoughts and feelings of others. Dr. Daniel Siegel shares in his book The Whole-Brain Child  that  a child’s ability to be reflective of their own experiences and those of others helps builds resiliency and connection.   

1. Cognitive Empathy The ability to understand another's perspective or see the world through others’ eyes. Cognitive empathy is mind-to-mind, giving us a mental sense of how another person might be thinking, sometimes called perspective-taking.   
2.  Emotional Empathy This type of empathy helps people feel attuned to another person’s emotions, and provides the ability to feel others’ emotions quickly without thinking deeply, as though their emotions are contagious. This type of empathy is deeply rooted in a human’s mirror neuron system, the social brain. This empathy depends on a different muscle of attention: tuning in to another person’s feelings requires we pick up their facial, vocal, and a stream of other nonverbal signs of how they feel instant-to-instant.
3. Empathetic Concern  With this kind of empathy we not only understand a person’s predicament and feel with them, but are spontaneously moved to help, if needed. This type of empathy is “other-oriented” where you feel concern about another’s suffering, but from more of a distance and with a desire to help the person in need. This type of empathy, research shows, can help reduce empathy fatigue; the residual of feeling another person’s suffering.

 
We can teach children to develop and regulate empathy, just as we do other emotions. That is, if we only cultivate emotional empathy “putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes” and feeling what they feel, we run the risk of truly experiencing the heartache, pain and distress of others. Neuroscience research suggests that when a person is emotionally empathizing with another person, their own brain is activated in very similar circuits as the brain of the person with whom they’re empathizing. This can result in higher “fight-or-flight” physiological responses and if we share the emotional suffering of others too often we run the risk of elevated stress response activation. Solely mirroring the emotional state of another person isn’t all that helpful, empathetic concern however is a good antidote. It allows us to connect to someone else's suffering but with equanimity and having the drive to want to help. This sort of compassion activates the area of the brain associated with motivation and reward.  

In my work with children I’ve found that action can be very powerful. When we allow children to do something with their feelings it can be very empowering. We don’t negate feelings; we bring mindful awareness to our thoughts and feelings and validate what ever it is we are experiencing in the moment then we can take action to care for our feelings and the feelings of others.  
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• Teach kids about their emotions. Kids can’t empathize with how someone else might be feeling if they don’t know how to put words to their own emotions. Help children explore and name their own feelings, this is an important first step in understanding the feelings of others.  Consider having a feelings chart in the house or in the classroom to reference. 

 

• Encourage perspective-taking. Ask children to reflect on how other people might be thinking or feeling or how they might feel and act in certain situations. One of the best ways to help cultivate empathy with children is to help them associate feelings and actions with their favorite stories - a character from a book or movie can stir a child’s empathy. Go to Well-Bean's resource page for a list of books.

 

• Be a role-model. Children learn how to be caring, empathetic and compassionate when they see it in the adults around them and are treated in that way. When our children feel loved, seen and understood that connection makes them more available for learning and receptive to what you teach them.

 

• Give kids “do-overs.” When we notice a child acting or speaking insensitively it can catch us off guard and generate feelings of disappointment or anger. Remember that empathy is a skill that requires cultivation. Shaming will not teach a child to be empathetic. View these moments instead as opportunities to teach. Bring attention to the behavior with care, exploring how the behavior might affect others helps the child with perspective taking. Collaboratively work together to explore ways that the child might re-do the action next time. Practice, role play and/or have them try again and do-over. Use these moments for skill-building.

 

• Give Back. Children often need help from adults to put what they’ve learned into action. Explore service projects or provide opportunities for them to care for animals or plants. This helps children understand the role they play in helping others thrive and reinforces our interconnectedness. Volunteerism is a beautiful way for children to experience the joy in helping others.

 

• Notice Good Character and Behavior. Look for those moments when you notice children acting kind, with care or responsibly and say something; it feels good to be noticed!  “Holding the door open was thoughtful.” or “Taking care of your plate was responsible, thank you.”

 

• Recognize and Talk About all the Goodness Happening in the World. With ample opportunity to see and hear the opposite, it can be both reassuring and helpful to see goodness modeled in the world. Check out Good News Network for encouraging stories www.goodnewsnetwork.org

 

• Facilitating Moral Development. Morality is an individual’s growing sense of right and wrong and develops across a lifetime. It’s influenced by an individual's experiences and their behavior when faced with moral issues and can be facilitated through the support of parents and adults in a child’s life. Have conversation around how we treat ourselves and each other and how our behavior impacts one another. Creating Community or Classroom Guidelines is a great way to facilitate these ongoing conversations and helps children see themselves as part of a community that cares and values others.

  

• Make it a Routine. Children need to regularly see it, receive it and feel it; this increases the internalization of the skill and just like any skill worth developing, it needs to be part of their regular life experience. Providing opportunities and making it part of a routine makes living it a greater reality.

 

• Honor individuality and differences. Helping kids discover what they have in common with other people and seeing ourselves in others is important, but honoring our differences and celebrating individuality is equally important especially for children who may by marginalized. Conversations around how we can be different and coexist helps build a more compassionate world.  

Looking for an outdoor activity to do with your children?  Consider starting a regular “I notice” mindful nature walk practice!  All that's needed is a curious attitude and your senses!  This is a great outdoor activity that naturally invites us to bring mindful awareness and wonder to the world around us.  

Depending on the age of your child decide on an appropriate about of time to spend on your walk.  You can choose to be completely silent or not. The purpose of the I notice walk is to use your senses, to bring awareness to the things around you, maybe even things you’ve never noticed before! 
 
Pause on your walk and notice, what do you hear?  Look at the variety of shapes and sizes, colors and textures found in nature. Use your sense of touch to explore and feel.  Maybe you’ll find a thing or two to smell.  When your time is up, share what you’ve found! Talk, draw or write about your experience.  You could even record your discoveries in a notebook.  Track what you've found on each walk, throughout the seasons, and uncover some of the many ways the natural world changes!  Don’t make it into a competition, it’s not about how many things you’ve found but rather, an opportunity to be in the moment.  To really see and hear, feel and smell all the wonders around you! 

"If a child is to keep alive her inborn sense of wonder, she needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with her the joy, excitement, and mystery of the world we live in.” ~Rachel Carson
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Author​
Jen Rapanos, LMSW, RCYT is a child and adolescent psychotherapist working in private practice.  She is the owner of Well-Bean, LLC which is committed to providing services & programs that foster the emotional & mental well-being of youth. Well-Bean offers child & adolescent psychotherapy,  yoga & mindfulness classes, wellness workshops and education & training for parents and educators.

© Copyright 2018 Well-Bean, LLC.  All rights reserved.  www.wellbeankidsyoga.com ​

By Jen Rapanos, LMSW, RCYT

Learning to notice an emotion arising in the body and pausing to take the time to pay attention and care for it allows us to have more choices in how we respond to that emotion. Well-Bean has created a four-step process called planting the S.E.E.D. for emotional wellness that teaches children and families how to mindfully approach and investigate all of our feelings while learning to take care of them.  
 
S       Stop:   Instead of reacting on autopilot, this step directs your child’s attention to whatever it is they’re experiencing in the present moment.  Parents can provide support by offering “I notice” prompts. I notice you’re sad.  I notice you’re clenching your fists like this.  I notice your voice is getting louder.  Sharing non-judgmental observation with your child provides them with a cue; there’s something going on that requires their attention.  In this step you’re guiding your child to make a conscious choice to stop and pay attention to their feelings.
 
E       Exhale s-l-o-w-l-y:   Take a few big breaths with me.  Consider what we know from neuroscience; children’s brains are still under construction and experiences help shape the brain.  When you teach your child how to breathe fully and deeply you’re actually familiarizing them with the effects of the parasympathetic nervous system.  This branch of the autonomic nervous system induces calm and relaxation; it sends signals through the body that all is well and safe. From this place of calm and ease, they are better able to access and strengthen connections to the area of the brain that helps manage their emotions and solve problems more skillfully. When we learn to pay attention to our breath, it can tell us something about how we are feeling and with this awareness we can discover the capacity of using our breath for self-regulation.

 E        Explore with curiosity:  From a more calm state, we can practice the skill of paying attention to our internal experience with curiosity and kindness versus judgment and reactivity.  Learning to tune in and connect with ourselves builds self-awareness and lays the foundation for self-regulation skills.  You can support the development of these skills by asking your child these types of questions:
 
·      What do you notice in your body?  My heart is racing.  It feels like butterflies in my stomach. My chest feels tight. There’s a lump in my throat.  My hands are clenched.  Learning to pause and pay attention to the felt sense of a feeling can feel quite foreign if you're not familiar with the practice.  But when we learn to check-in with how we're feeling we learn that emotions are transient, they have motion, they last in the body for just a short bit of time and then shift and change.  We learn that strong and difficult emotions can't actually hurt us, that we can actually learn to be with them without reacting to them.  

·      What is the quality of your thoughts? My mind went to the worst case scenario. I can’t stop thinking about what happened.  I’m not good enough.  I’m thinking about doing something that I might later regret. Our thoughts are powerful and can have a big impact on how we feel and behave.  If we find that the nature of our thoughts aren’t helpful we can choose to let them go or reframe the way we’re looking at a situation.  

·      What am I feeling?  We can label our feelings without judging them or identifying with them.  You might ask your child, If you could put a word to how you’re feeling right now, what would it be? Putting feelings into words can help us integrate what we’re experiencing.  This action engages both hemispheres of the brain and can have a calming effect on the emotional center of the brain.  Consider having a feelings list or chart nearby to reference!
 
D       Decide how to proceed:  You’ve supported your child by providing space to pause and investigate their feelings.  Now you can ask your child, What do you need?  From a more calm state and with a clearer lens, they can begin to explore coping strategies for self-care. Use Well-Bean’s poster as a visual and talking point to explore all the ways they can Mindfully Taking Care of Me From A to Z!
 
Bringing mindfulness to our internal experiences is a practice, like most things in life we become more skilled and well-versed in something that we repeat, often.  Parents can support the development of their child’s emotional wellness by following Well-Bean’s S.E.E.D. practice alongside their child whenever they’re experiencing a strong emotion.  
 
Mindfully Taking Care of Me From A to Z Poster is a perfect tool for families, therapist and teachers!  A beautifully illustrated visual that invites conversation around the many ways we can mindfully take care of our feelings.  Printed on durable, matte and museum-quality archival paper. 12 in. x 18 in.  Shipping is Free! 

​© Copyright 2018 Well-Bean, LLC.  All rights reserved.  www.wellbeankidsyoga.com 

By Jen Rapanos, LMSW, RCYT

The Wise Owl Yoga & Mindfulness in Education Program was developed in response to ongoing research suggesting that children today are experiencing stress at new levels. Paired with what we currently know about child and adolescent mental health conditions, Wise Owl serves to bring evidence-based mind and body practices and education into the classroom teaching social emotional learning and priming students brains for learning. 
 
I recently finished a 12-week series of our Wise Owl program with two fifth grade classrooms at Parkside Elementary School in Rockford, Michigan. This afternoon I took some time to read through the feedback forms that each student completed and here is what I learned: 

Of the students who participated in the program:
90% feel that learning mindfulness has helped them in some way their life.
57% report that mindfulness has helped them focus better in the classroom.
59% report that they use mindfulness to help calm down when experiencing strong emotions.
55% report that they use mindfulness to fall asleep at night.
57% report that mindfulness has helped them become more aware of their feelings.
92% feel that teaching mindfulness in schools would be helpful.
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Here is what some students shared:
"I used mindfulness during Battle of the Books try out. I used my breath to calm down and said to myself, everything is going to be okay."  "I used mindfulness when I got mad at my siblings, I sat alone paying attention to my breath." "My sister was mad at me, I used mindfulness to calm down and not explode at her." "My favorite part about mindfulness is that I learned how to calm myself down." "I use two breathing strategies you taught us to help fall asleep at night." "My dad was talking to me and I was getting angry about what he said, I went to my room and laid down and practiced breathing in and out." "I really liked learning about my brain." "Mindfulness helps me by letting me feel my emotions." "I used mindfulness one time when I was so frustrated. I got into my mindful body and it helped me with my mood." "The chair yoga really helped me and was my favorite part."

By Jen Rapanos, LMSW, RCYT

We're half-way through our 12-week Wise Owl; Yoga & Mindfulness in Education program at Parkside Elementary and today we spent time learning about our thoughts. Our thoughts have a tendency of taking to take us out of the present moment and place us in the future (planning, anticipating, worrying); a lot of energy is spent thinking about things.  And then we also have a habit of going back to the past (rehashing, ruminating) and revisiting events that have already passed. Our busy minds can leave us feeling quite exhausted. Just ask a room full of 5th graders if they have a hard time falling asleep at night. Most will agree that they have a hard time settling down and it's often because their minds are so active. Our thoughts are powerful and have a big impact on how we feel and behave.

So today we did a little experiment. We did our usual "check in." That's when we take time to quiet our bodies, become still and spend some time paying attention to what's happening on the inside. We become curious and notice how our bodies feel, we take note of our energy level and our attention span, and then we spend a few moments paying attention to our breath. Today, we became really curious about our thoughts. During our check in we spent additional time noticing where are thoughts take us; the results were interesting! Homework, upcoming projects, birthday parties this weekend, more homework, busy schedules after school, an argument with a friend, a grandpa who died, more homework, and several "I'm not good at this focusing thing" thought!
In both classes, most students agreed that they often have negative thoughts about themselves. (I'm not good enough, I'm stupid, I'm weak, I can't do it....) This opened up a beautiful dialogue about negative self-talk, what it is and what we can do with it. You see, if we're not mindful of it, we can't change it....we can't change what we're not aware of. So if that negative self-talk keeps repeating itself over and over again day after day, year after year, it becomes habit.

Today, these 5th graders learned that they can pay attention to their thoughts, and when they become mindful that their thoughts have carried them away they can now choose to bring their attention back to the present moment. This is a helpful strategy in the classroom and it takes a lot of practice, but that’s what mindfulness is-a practice. They also discovered that they can pay attention to where their thoughts take them and learn to pay closer attention to to how they talk to themselves. If they find they're engaging in negative self-talk, they can now choose to do something about it instead of ignore, push it away or learn to believe it! They can reframe those thoughts; they can challenge and replace those thoughts, they don't have to believe them because thoughts are just thoughts, they're not facts!  A helpful statement we ended our class time with was "what would you tell a friend?" If we can begin relate to ourselves like we would to a friend, it can change the trajectory for how we treat ourselves across the lifespan.  Instead of becoming our own work critic, we can learn to be self-compassionate.  What an important life-skill to learn.  This is such important work and I'm so grateful to be part of it! ~Jen 

By Jen Rapanos, LMSW, RCYT

Our guiding principles set us apart and shape how we approach and deliver our classes and workshops. Here is an overview of Well-Bean's Seven Seeds that help guide our Yoga & Mindfulness Classes: Yoga-Mindfulness-Connection-Awareness-Breath-Relaxation-Compassion.

YOGA for well-being. Many people think immediately of the physical benefits that can accompanying a yoga practice.  Building strength, flexibility and balance, and for children in the midst of growth it can assist with neuromuscular development and coordination. But yoga for children isn’t just a physical practice and it certainly isn’t about alignment or worrying about how a pose looks.  We often say in classes "you can’t tell if someone is doing yoga from the outside," instead, practicing yoga asanas with children provides an opportunity to become curious about how a pose feels in the body in a way that is curious and kind.  We explore poses with children, often asking questions like “which way feels better for you?” and "notice what happens with your breath in this pose."  Yoga can modulate energy and mood and relieve stress; yoga as a practice can help support a child’s physical, emotional and mental health.   

MINDFULNESS matters. Mindfulness helps cultivate self-awareness, so children become more familiar with their internal and external experiences, thoughts and emotions. Likewise, mindful action promotes conflict resolution and fosters skills like empathy and compassion.  We use focused attention practices to teach children how to focus on a particular stimulus; it’s a skill that has to be taught and practiced.  The “attention muscle” can be exercised and strengthened. As focused attention increases, wiring to the frontal lobes in the brain occurs.  The mindful practice of bring our attention back, over and over again supports brain wiring; “neurons that fire together wire together.” 

Build CONNECTION. Tuning in and connecting with ourselves is the foundation to building self-awareness.  How often, if ever, do we ask (or teach) children to pause and check in; notice how they're feeling, to gate their energy, attention or motivation level, to pay attention to their thoughts?  In this important work we have the capacity to support children in relearning to trust in their innate wisdom and to foster connections with themselves, with others and the world around them.  "When people go within and connect with themselves, they realize they are connected to the universe and they are connected to all living things." ~ Armand Dimele

AWARENESS gives us choices.  “We can’t change what we’re not aware of.”  This important phrase reminds us that awareness provides us with information from which then we have choices; we can choose to shift our attention to someone, something or more positive thinking, choose to modify our energy level, choose to take a few breaths or take care of our needs. When children are provided with opportunities to tune in, to pay attention to their inner world and experiences, we are supporting the development of self-awareness.  With awareness, children can learn to harness tools to help manage their thoughts, feelings and behaviors and the more opportunities to practice, the easier it will be for them to call on these resources; to become more self-reliant when they find themselves distracted, stressed or experiencing strong emotions.

BREATHING space.  The breath is a powerful tool, teaching children that they have some control over their own emotional and energetic states.  Conscious and full breathing increases the circulation of blood and oxygen to the brain, priming the brain for increased attention and focus.  When we teach children to pay attention to their breath, then educate them on how to breathe fully and deeply we are actually familiarizing them with the effects of the parasympathetic nervous system.  This branch of the autonomic nervous system induces calm and relaxation; it sends signals through the body that all is well and safe. From this place of calm and ease we are better able to access and strengthen connections to the area of the brain that helps manage our emotions and solve problems more skillfully.

RELAX with purpose.  We know from research that many children are chronically sleep deprived, are experiencing stress in their daily lives at heightened levels and are exposed every day to an overwhelming amount of sensory stimulation. We also know that relaxation techniques like focused attention practices and guided meditations can help reduce stress and anxiety and are an effective tool for quieting the body and mind.  With the parasympathetic nervous system awakened, we have a clearer lens on how to effectively handle day-to-day challenges.  Relaxation is a strategy and the ability to relax is a skill that has to be taught. “For the things
we have to learn before we can do them, we learn by doing them.” ~Aristotle
​                                                                                                                             
Make COMPASSION a habit. Yoga and mindfulness teach us how to live curiously, gently and with compassion—with ourselves, others, and the world.  We can provide children with opportunities to explore themselves and the world around them in a safe and supportive environment, cultivating practices and experiences that teach them how to live in harmony and with heart—with themselves, with others and their communities.  “If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.”~Jack Kornfield. 
We end each Well-Bean class with the following loving-kindness phrases:

May I be brave and feel safe                                                                                                                                
May I be happy just the way I am                                                                                                               
May I live gently, with love and kindness                                                                                           
May I feel peace in my heart

​"Wouldn't it be great if the only emotion we ever experienced was happy?"  I asked a classroom full of fifth- graders last week, “or would it?”

We certainly start to prime ourselves at a young age into thinking that happy is the best way to be, which makes sense, who wants to strive to feel sad?  But the reality is we can’t be happy 100% of the time and we can’t make our children experience happiness 100% of the time either.   If you think about it, aren’t we setting ourselves up for failure with this 'happy all the time' mind set? 

We become conditioned to believe that certain feelings like disappointment and sadness are “negative” we treat them like they're taboo; we avoid talking about them or being with them at all costs.  I've had so many children over the years share with me that their "mad feelings are bad."  When I first started working with the six-year-old who wrote "No Mad. No Sad. No Worried." on my whiteboard I let him know that it was okay to feel mad, it was okay to feel sad, it was okay to feel worried.  I let him know that together, we would learn how to take care of those feelings.  Together we started the process of learning how to be with all of our feelings in a curious and kind way. 

If you asked around, I think you’d find that most people agree that the human experience includes a wide-range of emotions based on a variety of experiences.  There will always be hard lessons in life. There will always be challenges.  There will always be disappointment, goodbyes and loss. It’s human nature.  So why do we put so much energy into avoiding and pushing away these "unpleasant" emotions when we can all agree that they come with the territory of being human? 
 
What if we learned instead to be receptive to all of our emotions; we viewed them all as an opportunity to learn and grow.  What if we shifted the way we related to our emotions, instead of avoiding them, we learned to sit with them.  What if talked about them, viewed them as something that requires our attention, something we can learn to nurture. This is the conversation we ventured into last week during our mindfulness lesson at Parkside Elementary School. 
 
When we're living on autopilot (the opposite of mindfulness) we often react to strong emotions.  They might play out by snapping at a loved one and we later feel bad about what we did or said.  Or we might ruminate about the experience, jumping on a thought train and letting it carry us away. Our thoughts then amp us up and cause that initial feeling to stay with us—sometimes for hours or even days.
 
"So what if we tried a different approach, what if we learned to get curious about all of our feelings, practiced pausing and checking-in to what’s happening on the inside.  Really feeling what a feeling feels like and putting words to our experience, acknowledging and naming our feelings?" I asked the class. “What do you think might happen if we bring mindfulness to our feelings and agreed to take care of all of our feelings with curiosity versus judgment?”  As we began to explore what this new practice might look and feel like, we agreed that putting it into practice on our own time would give us more information.  “When I see you next week, I'd love to hear about what awareness arises when you practice paying attention to your feelings." 

I walked into the classroom this week, and after practicing our one-minute of mindful breathing I asked if anyone had any mindful moments to share.  Hands raised and the sharing began. "I noticed that when my brother kept coming into my room and bugging me I got mad.  I felt tension in my chest and my heart started pounding."  So what did you do, I asked?  "I first shouted at him, then I recognized I was feeling mad and I stopped and went into my mindful body, I started practicing rectangle breathing. I noticed I started to calm down.  I asked my brother more calming to give me some space and I shut the door."  Another student shared that she noticed feeling "joyful" throughout the week.  What does joyful feel like, I asked?  "It feels warm, like around my chest and heart, it feels like a shining bright light.  I didn't realize how often I felt joyful until I started paying attention to it."   

Learning to pause and pay attention to the felt sense of a feeling can feel quite foreign if you're not use to the practice.  But when we learn to check-in with how we're feeling we learn that emotions are transient.  Emotions come and they go, they have motion, they last in the body for just a short bit of time and then shift and change.  We learn that strong and difficult emotions can't actually hurt us.  Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, a neuroanatomist (the study of anatomy dealing with the nervous system) shares some interesting research behind the physiological mechanism of emotion. An emotion like anger, lasts just ninety seconds from the moment it’s triggered until it runs its course.  One and a half minutes, that’s all!  When it lasts any longer, which it usually does, it’s because we’ve tried to push it away, we haven’t given it the attention it needs and it continues to reside within us.  Or, we’ve chosen to rekindle it with our thoughts.  
 
Learning to notice an emotion arising in the body, and pausing to take the time to pay attention and care for it, allows us to have more choices in how we respond to that emotion. Well-Bean has created a four-step process; planting the S.E.E.D. for emotional wellness, teaching children and families how to mindfully approach and investigate our feelings while learning to take care of them.  
 
STOP:   This action asks children to stop from moving on autopilot or a reactive state and invites them to direct their immediate attention to their body and breath.  This is an action that takes us out of the agitated mind and invites us to go to the body with the next step: 
 
Exhale s-l-o-w-l-y:  When we teach kids to pay attention to their breath, then educate them on how to breathe fully and deeply we are actually familiarizing them with the effects of the parasympathetic nervous system.  This branch of the autonomic nervous system induces calm and relaxation; it sends signals through the body that all is well and safe. From this place of calm and ease we are better able to access and strengthen connections to the area of the brain that helps manage our emotions and solve problems more skillfully.  Make breathing a regular practice; teach your child during a calm state how to do diaphragmatic breathing.  FOR MORE  
 
Explore with curiosity: We’re creating some space here. Instead of a reacting from a stressful place, we practice the skill of paying attention to our internal experiences with curiosity and kindness versus judgment and reactivity.  You can support your child through this process with these types of questions:

• What is the feeling or felt-sense in my body?  My heart racing.  It feels like butterflies in my stomach. My chest feels tight. There’s a lump in my throat.
• What is the quality of my thoughts? My mind went to the worst case scenario. I keep thinking about what happened over and over again.  I’m thinking about doing something that I might later regret. 
• What am I feeling?  We can label our feelings without judging them or identifying with them. “I am feeling worried.” “I am feeling angry.” “I am feeling distracted.”  Putting feelings into words helps us integrate our experience and can have a positive brain response, calming the emotional center of the brain. 

 
Decide how to proceed: With awareness about our internal experience, and a calmer nervous system, we can more skillfully decide what we need to move forward, to take care of our feelings. “I need to continue with belly-breathing to help calm my body.”  “I need some quite time.” “I need help from an adult.” “I need to go for a walk.” “I want to listen to music.”  “I want to talk.” “I want to play with a friend.” 
 
Bringing mindfulness to our internal experiences is a practice, like most things in life we become more skilled and well-versed in something that we repeat, often.  Practice is a key agent to change. Parents can water these seeds of wellness by practicing S.E.E.D. alongside their child whenever they're experiencing a feeling. 

© Copyright 2018 Well-Bean, LLC.  All rights reserved.  www.wellbeankidsyoga.com ​

By Jen Rapanos, LMSW, RCYT

Well-Bean programs are lively and purposefully, teaching children yoga and mindfulness in an energetic and experiential way.  We believe in the science that suggests that kids learn best through the reflection of doing so we integrate learning tools like books, breathing props and various yoga games into our classes to keep students engaged, having fun and learning through doing. This holiday season, we're sharing some of our FAVORITES with you! Below you'll learn a little about each and why it's made our favorite list and when you click on each title, you'll be linked to a website where it can be purchased!  

May this Holiday season be filled with love, laughter and joy for you and your loved ones and may you see the powerful connection we all share with one another!  

Bedtime Meditations for Kids
I always suggest guided meditations as a way for children to calm their minds and bodies at bedtime. This cd features captivating bedtime meditations to bring peace, joy and calm to the end of the day. There are three tracks, each approximately 18 minutes in length, you can choose from: by the sea, an adventure in space and snowflake.  This beautiful bedtime relaxation cd is the inspiration of Christiane Kerr. As well as practicing and teaching yoga for over 15 years, Christiane is an experienced Montessori teacher. She began relaxation courses for children in 1999 when she founded Calm For Kids.

Zenergy Chime
A chime or Tibetan signing bowl can be used as a physical cue that helps bring us to back to the present moment.  We use chimes and bowls in our yoga classes, mindfulness classrooms and in therapy sessions as a cue to remind us to come back to the present moment.  When we hear the sound of the chime, we bring our fullest attention to the sound of the bell.  It can also be used as a reminder to take a few full breaths and "check in" with ourselves. 

Mindful Moments for Kids
One of our favorite musicians, Kira Willey, offers a unique collection of 30 one-minute mindfulness exercises to practice with kids; convenient and easy to use, we incorporate these tracks into our yoga classes and in therapy sessions with younger children!  Each track consists of Kira's simple voiceover instructions set to her original songs helping children harness their energy, release anxiety, and develop self-awareness and compassion. The CD also includes two bonus songs (two of our personal favorites)  ''Dance for the Sun,'' and a mantra-like lullaby, ''Just Be.'' that we end each class with during savasana!

Good Morning Yoga
Books are a great way to practice yoga with younger children. This “wake up” story is so much more than a story. It’s a practice for kids and parents to greet the morning with joy and embark on their daily adventures with intention and confidence. Turn the page and reach up to the sky, press your feet into the earth, and get ready for a great day!

I Am Peace; A Book of Mindfulness 
When the world feels chaotic, find peace within through an accessible mindfulness practice from the bestselling picture-book dream team that brought us I Am Yoga (a favorite in Well-Bean Yoga & Mindfulness Classes!) Express emotions through direct speech. Find empathy through imagination. Connect with the earth. Wonder at the beauty of the natural world. Breathe, taste, smell, touch, and be present.  

Steps and Stones: An Anh's Anger Story
I use this book in therapy and in my Parent & Child Meditation Workshops to explore how walking meditation can help us calm our mind and body.  The book (with beautiful illustrations)  shares the story of Anh, the protagonist of Gail Silver’s previous book Anh’s Anger, who is a typical and easy-to-relate-to elementary school-age boy. His anger, personified as a red hairy impulsive creature, teaches him some valuable lessons about not getting carried away by his strong emotions. By counting his steps and coordinating them with his breathing Anh is able to slow down and take his anger for a peaceful and magically transformative walk.

Hoberman Sphere (breathing ball)
Teaching kids about their breath can empower them to use this effective self-regulation skill when they are feeling stressed, anxious, angry or just full of energy. Teaching full and deep breathing the Hoberman Sphere AKA “breathing ball” is always a hit! It’s a great visual to use with kids, teaching them diaphragmatic breathing.  By the way, teenagers are fascinated by this cool ball too! 

The Buddha Board
Painting on the Buddha Board is not only a calming activity bringing us into the present moment, it a gentle reminder of the impermanence of all things.  As the water slowly evaporates and your painting fades leaving a new blank canvas, it reminds us of the constant motion, the coming and going of all things in life.  I use the Buddha Board in classes and in therapy as an activity to reinforces that our feelings have movement, they don't last forever, they come and they go.  

Sitting Still Like a Frog: Mindfulness Exercises for Kids (and Their Parents)
This sweet little book will easily captivate your attention, providing you with an introduction to mindfulness meditation.  In a simple and accessible way, it describes what mindfulness is and how mindfulness-based practices can help children calm down, become more focused, fall asleep more easily, alleviate worry, manage anger, and generally become more patient and aware. The book contains eleven practices that focus on just these scenarios, along with short examples and anecdotes throughout. Included with purchase is an audio CD with guided meditations. This is a wonderful guide for parents; I often recommend it to parents who have children between the ages of 4 and 12, who are looking for strategies to help support their child who is experiencing worry and anxiety.  The book is written by Eline Snel, forward is provide by Jon Kabat-Zinn and guided exercises read by Myla Kabat-Zinn. 

Memory Yoga
Stretch your mind and your body. Memory Yoga helps preschoolers improve balance, flexibility and coordination while boosting matching and memory skills. Learn and perform yoga poses as you search for Matching Pose Tiles.  With two levels of play, this fun yoga game is a fun family activity or one to use in session to review poses!

Breathe In Breath Out Essential Oil Bend for Kids
We spray a small amount of an essential oil blend of lavender and sweet orange over our students as they lay in savasana at the end of our Little Sprouts classes (ages 6-11).   Our students report that this exercise helps with relaxation and they often ask for it!  I've also found in my work with teens that they really appreciate when I diffuse essential oils during class...nothing better than breathing in and out a calming scent! 
​Breathe In Breathe Out is one of the 18 new Ok for Kids blends from Edens Garden expertly formulated by aromatherapist, Sylla Sheppard-Hanger and essential oil chemist, Dr. Robert Pappas, with both safety and aromatherapeutic benefits in mind.  Breathe In, Breathe Out is a refreshing blend of Silver Fir, Lavender, Lemon, Frankincense, Sweet Marjoram, Lime, Roman Chamomile, Vetiver, Damiana, Ginger, Spearmint, Vanilla CO2. 

Yoga Pretzels: 50 Fun Yoga Activities for Kids & Grownups
At Well-Bean we incorporate these beautifully illustrated cards within our classes making fun and engaging yoga games!  Forward bends, back bends, partner poses, and balance poses, this is a perfect gift for kids and grownups and a great way to bring yoga into the home!  One of my favorite suggestions for families is to create a short yoga flow together by picking 5-8 cards (poses) and practicing  together.  You might also select 3-4 grounding and calming poses like standing or seated forward fold, child's pose or legs up the wall to create a bedtime yoga routine.  The ideas and opportunities to bring yoga into the home are countless!

By Jen Rapanos, LMSW, RCYT

I really enjoy teaching children about their brain.  I think partly because it's information I wish I had known as a child.  I often wonder, had I been taught the mechanisms for why and how my brain and body were designed to respond to stress, would I have been empowered to handle stressful situations a little differently?  I was a pretty anxious kid.  I remember feeling overwhelmed, a lot, I often internalized those feelings and questioned  what was wrong with me.  I learned to avoid situations that caused me stress and coped with feelings of anxiety by reacting out of fear and frustration. 

We often teach children to cope with their feelings by suggesting they practice some of these universal strategies: "Count to 10" "go for a walk" "take a breath."  These strategies rarely worked for me.  I have a note posted in my office that reads "we can't change what we're not aware of."  Without the understanding of why my heart rate was increasing, why I was feeling butterflies in my stomach and why I had a hard time focusing, these coping strategies came to feel like useless old bandaids and the intention of changing or shaping my behavior rarely worked. 

In order to have a conceptual understanding of how to cope with feelings of stress we first need to understand how and why our brains are designed to interpret and react to stress.  From this place of awareness, we can then learn to pay attention to and be with our feelings with less reactivity and more compassion.  We can learn to monitor and regulate our feelings and behaviors in a more mindful way.  We can shift our mindset from "what's wrong with me?" to "oh, maybe this is a signal that I'm experiencing stress (anxiety, fear, anger, etc.)"  

In therapy I often designate sessions for teaching brain-based education to my clients. Using kid-friendly language, visuals and props, my clients learn to locate, name and understand key players in the brain.  From this understanding we learn to pay attention to how stress and emotions show up in the mind and body.  With this awareness we then explore, learn and practice coping strategies.  Below is the information that I share with parents so that they can use the same language at home and help support their child in building more mindful awareness of stress-response system. 

Our amygdala is kind of like a WATCH DOG.  It has an important job of helping protect us from threats. We call it our protective brain because it is always looking out for our safety. When information comes into our brain and is interpreted as a threat, we respond immediately; this is our Fight, Flight or Freeze response system.  Our amygdala keeps us safe. However, our amygdala isn’t so good at figuring out if something is truly a threat. Stress, worry, frustration or anger can cause our amygdala to work overtime and instinctually cause us to react to situations without using our rational or thinking centers of the brain. When we teach kids to notice when their amygdala is activated we can then teach them how to use calming strategies so that they are better able to access another part of the brain which helps them manage their emotions and solve problems more skillfully. 

Empowering kids to use their breath to calm their body and mind is one of the most powerful tools for self-regulation.  When our body and brain are calm, we are better able to access our prefrontal cortex (PFC).  When our emotions and experiences are viewed through the lens of the PFC we have more choices, we can respond versus react to whatever is happening more mindfully; that’s why we say our PFC is like a WISE OWL. 

The PFC is our learning, reasoning and thinking center of the brain—it is the part of the brain that can see the big picture.  It helps us control our impulses, focus our attention, and also helps regulate emotions.  When then WISE OWL part of our brain is activated and the WATCH DOG is calm, we are better able to solve problems and manage feelings more mindfully.  

When children become more familiar with these key parts of their brain, that knowledge becomes the framework then from which they learn to pay attention to, monitor and regulate themselves in the face of stress and strong emotions.  With this foundation we're empowering our children, teaching them how to access their more thoughtful, compassionate, creative and capable selves.

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